THE POWER OF SAYING NO – MONIKA KLOECKNER
How many times have you been annoyed about yourself when you said YES to working overtime? Too many times I reckon. But what can you do to change the YES into a NO without feeling guilty?
The following article will give you some top tips to turn around the YES into a NO without a negative feeling.
There are five situations in life when you have to say no without feeling guilty at all. These are the following:
1) when you are sick or feel sick,
2) when you are stressed or overwhelmed,
3) when you have taken on too many tasks already,
4) when you have a doctor’s appointment booked and have to leave on time.
5) any other commitment that cannot be changed.
So, what happens when you feel obligated to say YES to every request to work longer or to do a task you really don’t want to do?
Every time you say YES you get stressed because you really want to say NO.
Every time you say YES you think that if I do not do as instructed people think that I am not a team player. My colleagues will start talking behind my back and I will be seen as a lazy person.
Every time you say YES you give away your power. People know that they can take advantage of you and will ask you again and again to do tasks you really do not want to do.
You end up doing tasks that are actually someone else’s job to do. You will be working twice as much as the other person. The other person probably goes for a coffee and has a relaxing chat with other colleagues.
Every time you say YES you diminish your priorities and your free time. You will have less space in your life left to do the things you love doing.
What can you do to not say YES most of the time?
You can set your priorities straight.
Do you think that is easier said than done? I agree. It takes time to become more confident to make a point that you cannot be treated like to doormat. But it is something that can be practised and is achievable.
Prioritise is when you decide the order in which to deal with a series of items or tasks according to their relative importance.
Having said that, think about the following answers to the questions below.
1) what is the most important thing in my life?
Most people put the highest importance on their home life, family and hobby.
If you are not sure what the most important thing in your life make a list of all the things that are important. Write them on to different index cards, put them into a bowl and draw one card. The note on the index card is the one you make your priority for the week.
Examples are: working in your garden. Maybe you need to de-weed the garden and plant spring shrubs.
You may have a deadline to pay some bills. Pay them.
Another option is to going back to your life ambition and finding out what happens next.
Explore the options when to say NO
To find out when to say NO more often, you need to become clear when you say YES.
Most of us say always yes in the work environment. But every so often I come across people who act the same way in their home environment around their relationships. They do everything what their partner demands them to do. Whenever a friend needs to have a favour the YES person would leave their tasks behind and help out this friend.
What specific areas of life do you need to be saying NO more often?
Ask yourself why do you always say YES and how can you change this situation. It is all about finding the right middle without feeling guilty or feeling too selfish either.
What currently stops me from saying “No”?
At the beginning of each day for a week, ask yourself “What’s the most important thing I could achieve today?” and do it.
What are your beliefs on saying YES? Write them down and change them into the positive.
Book your 20 minutes free non obligatory consultation now