By Success4


My week of hell sent from heaven


Isn’t life just bloody shit sometimes? When something horrendous happens its usually followed by something else horrendous, then something else and then you are finished off with sprinkles on top! Now I like to think of myself as a relatively positive person. I have often talked about ‘what you think about will come about’ and ‘what you put out into the world you will get back’ #goodkarma (bla bla bla).  However sometimes it just doesn’t seem to work out like that! This month I have tried my hardest to be a bloody fantastic person. I gave to every charity I encountered, I arranged a lovely treat for a friend who was feeling low, I have even managed to control my road rage and guess what I’ve been given in return… two weeks of absolute hell! I swear not one thing has gone right for me. Now I’m not going to bore you with the ‘poor me’ details but it did involve my lovely grandmother being very poorly and hospitalised and a broken gear box. Sprinkles included alarms not going off, spilling, dropping and smashing things and leaving to go out of the house whilst forgetting every item I needed for the day… every single day. It’s been one thing after another and I had just about reached my breaking point when I was about to miss my train home today but amazingly I made it with one minute to spare. Phew! And breath. Thank the high heavens I thought, something has gone my way (just about).

Strangely catching that train was a turning point for me. I was so, so grateful that the universe had given me this saving grace and it was followed by a successful morning of working from home and then this afternoon I met the wonderful Suzie Mackay of the collaboration book Women of Spirit. I was meeting Susie as she thankfully heard ‘my story’ and wanted to include it in this incredible apty named book that she has put together consisting of inspiring stories from women (with spirit). Me and Susie had a real heart to heart and put the world to rights. I told her about what an awful time I had been having and she shared some of her wows, then she said something that made everything else make sense. She said, ‘I’m trusting in the universe.’ I realised that I had slowly been losing touch with the universe and all these terrible things that had been happening to me was the universe literally screaming STOP, you’re going the wrong way!

I had recently been telling myself stories that I knew were untrue, such as; ‘You aren’t destined for greater things, you were never going to be a successful writer or speaker and you are not going to fulfil that dream of helping others with your story after all. I had given up on my every goal. Sometimes when you give up, rather than feeling despair you actually feel relief. You can almost hear yourself thinking thank God, I’ve let go of that dream and no longer have to stretch myself.

Nothing that’s worth it is easy so naturally the things you want are hard to get. I had been happy because I had gotten comfortable, I had accepted a life I wasn’t supposed to lead. As they say, ignorance is bliss! I stated at the beginning of this short blog/article/journal entry (whatever) that I try to live my life with the mantra, what you put out into the world you will get back.  And I said. ‘however sometimes it just doesn’t seem to work out like that!’ The important words there are ‘it doesn’t seem to.’ Not everything is as it seems. I truly believe that the universe saw my efforts to be a decent human being and then was furious that I wasn’t living to my full potential thus I was never going to reap any sort of reward. Sometimes in order to wake us up and get us on the right path the universe has to throw all sorts of hell at us, it’s the only way the greater power can communicate with us and pull us in another direction. My two weeks of hell was actually sent from heaven… well, actually I believe it was sent from the universe but that’s not as catchy.

I guess my message here is, if you are going through a shitty time, if the universe starts to literally lob things in your face again and again and again STOP and ask yourself if you are on the right path. If we were given roses we would continue blissfully on in ignorance. There’s a greater power looking out for us all, it doesn’t matter what you call it, God, Allah, The Universe, My Guardian Angel. It’s there guiding you in weird and wonderful ways. We just have to connect with that source and listen to it, however it decides to communicate. Thanks so much for reading, I wish you all heavenly days.

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